Why does my coffee taste like crap?

Probably because it is made from Kopi Luwak coffee beans. "Would you pay $175 for a pound of coffee beans which had passed through the backside of a furry mammal in Indonesia?!?" I don't think I would

What the hell are Kopi Luwak coffee beans you might be asking? They are "rare and expensive, thanks to a unique taste and aroma enhanced by the digestive system of palm civets, nocturnal tree-climbing creatures about the size of a large house cat."

Yes, that was not a typo. Coffee beans are actually the seeds of a coffee cherry. In Indonesia, an animal called a Palm Civet lives (pictured on right). The Palm Civet eats the coffee cherry which gets digested. However, the coffee bean does not get digested by the Civet. Because of this, the Palm Civet relieves itself and the coffee beans are found in the droppings. The droppings are found near coffee plantations in Indonesia and after being "carefully cleaned and roasted," they are sold to buyers.

If anyone is interested, I'm now selling coffee beans that I haven't digested for only $125 a pound. Call me for order information.

Weird world...

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*article can be found here.